c0mments! WHY WHY WHY!
THE holidays are gonna end soon if i end up in JC
well this really scare the hell out of me.ppl say JC life is fucking tough they say its stressful and yes i am really worried for it. furthermore i havent had the best holiday i think i had the worst holiday its full of feelings of boredom insecuirty and dreaming dreaming of things i wont be able to get. I do really want to enjoy my last few days of holidays but i have how no freaking idea!im in doubt on where will i live im in doubt of what to do.im confused over things. WHen i asked if i can go out and play and its boring they will dfucking say i got bad influence and im super playfil the fact that i stayed home for most of the times. they just dont get it. theya re still tuck at the old days method! they even described sleeping as entertainment! for fuck! jsut because of 1 bday party i attend they claimed that i have so much freedom and wadever.i really want to play and have fun. ANd I realise that i nvr get to do the things i reli want to do the sub combinations and even the school choosing. they want me to be in top class in top school in everything. there are just too much expectations. they claim to give me freedom by eltting me choose what school i want to go eyah tight... u can choose ur school no pressure at all........... but rmb our main aim is uni and poly v hard to get in uni scaring me pressuring me and there go i chose jc. and when i chose JC do i get wad i want?! i cant even choose the school i want to go its all about them making life choices for me wad they think is best.. and i tried arguing i tried teling them my opionions whad do i get? I was told that im rebellious and i shld reflect? wth?! and the next thing they say is that i should be a lawyer coz im good at rebutting ppl wth!? im really frstrated! i want to have i want to play! i wanna do the things i enjoy doing!
And all the things i done words might sya its much appreciated but i dun seee it i reli dont! even a bye was hard to be said.conversations were cold. i just dont feel it mayeb its cause wad i have cant be seen its always behind the scene nobody will know ppl will just always crop up infront and claim all the credit snatching it away happily. maybe im not patience enough not goood enought but yet i still feel that i did alot and yet stillf ailing i reli wanna give up. U are more concern of opthers being hurt than me. u got jealous of others but u nvr look at urself...im easily jealous i know... but i always hide it well im sensitive yes i am but well i will just get scolding while you will protect others whio are sensitive.without me i doubt there will be any planning and yet no one knows is my effort coz credits will all be stolen/I just wanna do wad i wan i just wanna be happy playing i just want thsi to end soon...